We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
