What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
