If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
