I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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