If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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