Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
