O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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