It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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