I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
