Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
