I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
