So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Small penises have feelings too.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Randomize
