Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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