with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
only if we run a train.
done.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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