David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
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