I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
