He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
