is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
