Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
