I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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