dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
