Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
