my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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