the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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