I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
