I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Randomize
