so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
