Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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