Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
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