there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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