he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
