i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
