Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
