I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
