we're chasing vodka with high fives
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
