Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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