Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
