Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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