I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
It's blow job season.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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