i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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