Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
FUCK WHALES
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
