Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
This baby is an asshole
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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