just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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