8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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