Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
