my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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