JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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