This girl is more easily done than said...
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
