Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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