didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Randomize
