So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
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