There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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